


D&D + Asexuality

by Leaving_tomorrow



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexuality Spectrum, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Inspired by Music, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, Personal Experiences Sprinkled In, Relationship Discussions, no beta we die like men, supportive boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 05:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leaving_tomorrow/pseuds/Leaving_tomorrow
Summary: Before things move forward, Zexion has to come clean to Demyx about something. Something he's known about himself for a while. He knew the day would come, but he was nervous nonetheless.





	D&D + Asexuality

**Author's Note:**

> Title and basically entire fic inspired by this song from Skull Puppies.  
Similar to my fic ‘I Am Aware That I Am An Asshole’, the ideas came to mind when my Spotify was playing recommended songs. 
> 
> I see your depressed, emo, Twilight loving nerd Zexion and I raise you depressed, D&D and science loving nerd Zexion.
> 
> Fun fact, the asexual conversation is roughly 20% of the entire fic. If even 20%.  
*slaps this fic* This bad boy can fit so many headcanons and useless details.
> 
> Also, fair warning, there is no D&D playing. Only the mention of it. I don’t have enough friends to learn how to play.

Zexion releases a deep sigh. ‘Talk Me Down’ by Troye Sivan plays in the background, but he’s too distracted to appreciate it. Gently squeezing and rolling his pet around against his palms, he decides it’s enough and drops the Marimo moss ball into the freshly changed, cold water in its terrarium. Which, quick frankly, doesn’t need to be as stylized as it is. A mason jar would suffice. But, no. Zexion never half-asses anything. It was a mini etched glass teapot with small rocks, small shells, fake twigs and vegetation. He knew he would buy it the moment he saw it online. 

He’s had the moss ball since he was little. Vexen received it as a gift on a business trip, but he gave it to him almost immediately. Apparently, he figured a much lower maintenance pet was better for the both of them. Aka, Vexen didn’t want a dog or a cat. Rather, he didn’t want to be responsible for them. Despite their pleas and promises, most children can’t take care of an animal on their own. Besides, they wouldn’t be around enough to give an animal proper love. Now, allege? They could deal with that. 

Really, it was the breathing factor. Animals being alive with emotions and needs could be tough. And even though they usually have unconditional love, Vexen already worked with enough animals at work; mainly, experimenting on rats. For scientific purposes, of course. He’s no monster. 

So, Zexion knew how to take care of it well enough by now. Though he rolled it around to keep the moss ball in its round shape, he stirs the terrarium for good measure with a clean Popsicle stick. Around and around the moss ball, like he was god creating a microscopic tornado (technically, a waterspout) for it. Unknowingly, three minutes pass and the song in the background changes to ‘Born This Way’ by Lady Gaga.

It’s only when there’s a knock on the door and Vexen yells that Demyx is here that he snaps out of it. Standing up abruptly, he pulls the stick out and places it on the hand towel next to the terrarium. He’s quick to check that he looks okay with his phone's front facing camera, fixing his bangs and adjusting his shirt so it sits better. He sets his phone down on the desk after plugging the charger in, not bothering to pause the music. 

Taking two strides to the door, he takes another breath before opening it. Of course, there his boyfriend stood. He was a few inches taller, standing proud in a corgi graphic tee and distressed blue jeans. His nails were painted to match his rainbow Vans and 8mm ear gauges. The dyed streak in his hair was purple, even though it was red five days ago. He knew the red wouldn’t last. Because 1) Demyx isn’t a warm color person (with the exceptions of them being very bright, specifically yellow) and 2) Axel. 

Demyx smiles at him, aware that he notices the change. Zexion instinctually steps aside to let him in. His gaze refamiliarizes itself with the bedroom, setting down a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the free space on the desk. He wiggles his finger in a tiny wave to the moss ball sitting at the bottom of the terrarium before putting the teapot cover on it. 

He’d never get over how cool the room was. Literally and figuratively. Zexion couldn’t sleep if it wasn’t cold, while also having tons of hoodies (at least two of them were ‘borrowed’ from him) and extra blankets in case it got too cold.

One thing Demyx always has to mention whenever talking about Zexion is that he has a dragon side table. That’s right. It was a small circular glass table, but the base was sculpted like a tower on an island; get this, with a dragon! At least, the sculpture of one; this isn’t Game of Thrones, after all. On top of the table currently was his Book of Shadows, which he was letting Zexion read through to his heart’s content. On top of the book currently was Kink, a leather stuffed animal. More accurately, it was a leather bear that used to be a backpack, the straps being removed and then filled with stuffing. It’s named that as that was Axel’s first instinct to seeing it...and the name sort of just stuck. 

The house was big, arguably too big for a two-person household (though it was a three-person household up until 7th grade, before they met). Even more so when only Zexion’s home, since Vexen is gone so much. Though, that gave him more of an excuse to come over and keep him company. 

It was two stories, upstairs having two bedrooms and two bathrooms while the main level has a living room, kitchen, office, another bathroom and a small guest room. 

His bedroom was long, more rectangular that square; but, that’s to be expected with Vexen being a somewhat renowned research neuroscientist. Plus, alimony. 

The bedroom is painted grey with a navy feature wall where his bed (white and navy), dragon side table and floor lamp were. There was a window above his bed, with black curtains and a healthy succulent chilling on the windowsill. Light bulb fairy lights hung like garland/streamers, similar to what people do for outdoor weddings. There was a rug in the middle of the room, the floor hardwood. 

On the side where the door is, there’s a sliding closet near the bed and two trash cans (one for recyclables) next to the door (which is further down the wall). 

The adjacent wall to the bed has a houseplant in the corner, the door to his bathroom and most importantly: a large, dark wood bookshelf filled to the brim with different genres of books. There were a lot of classics, but also many mysteries. Zexion liked books that made him think. Though, the top shelf held a number of rulebooks that stood out from the rest. If they weren't clear enough, among Zexion’s interest in dragons and spells, then he didn’t know what to say. 

His boyfriend plays D&D (Dungeons & Dragons). Not only does he like it, but he was damn good at it. If that could even be considered a skill. The top shelf of the bookshelf also contained a skull, a decoration for putting candy in around/during Halloween. However, inside the skull was dice. Die? Whatever, they were all cool. A couple D4, D6, D8, D10, D12 and D20s each. He frequently goes to the magic shop downtown to see if there are any cool ones. It’s like a marble collection. 

Zexion was usually the DM (Dungeon Master) and his desk proved it. Next to the plant on the diagonal wall was a black dresser and on the left of it was a desk. First noticeable thing was the skull tapestry hung above it. Then, on the desk was; a lantern, a Zen garden, an essential oil diffuser, Mari (his Marimo moss ball)’s terrarium and then two stacks of five notebooks/journals. His drawer was practically a Staples, having any school or art supplies to ever want/need. 

He had all the stories from each session, character sheets and outcomes of rolls. He usually recorded their meetings to write them down later, so no one forgets anything that happened last time. He was willing to do so much work...because he liked it. He has fun doing it. And while Demyx didn’t think it was worth staying up till 3am transcribing or write down ideas for another adventure, he wouldn’t take his passion away from him. 

Opening up the box of doughnuts, he picks up a chocolate one with sprinkles and stills. He didn’t bring napkins. 

Zexion made sure everything was clean (dusting every week) and tidy/organized. He didn’t have OCD, but he certainly had tendencies about how and where he wanted everything to stay. 

Looking towards him, he’s only able to see Zexion retreating out of the room and down the stairs. Lifting his hand up under his mouth to catch possible crumbs, he sneaks a bite of chocolatey goodness and moans under his breath. Licking his lips, he sighs. Yeah. These doughnuts were completely worth mildly sabotaging his health.

It takes about 20 seconds for his boyfriend to come back and to shut the door behind him, a new box of tissues and napkins for them. He takes the two napkins offered to him, Zexion opening and setting the tissue box aside on the desk next to the notebooks. 

He loves being in his space. It’s incredibly interesting how his room represents him so much. It didn’t seem to suit him if someone met him as he was now, in his lounging clothes (nothing too fancy, but not pajamas), yet all of it made perfect sense to Demyx. 

Zexion’s personality was still radiant; and he was wearing just a black NASA shirt and burgundy jeans. He’s got black compression socks on; his nails painted a dark purple with white glitter (like stars) and eyeliner on. His right ear, mostly hidden by his bangs, has his favorite dragon ear cuff; while his left ear piercings is a chain cuff that he recommended pairing the dragon with. He thought it complements the dragon, the shape of his ear and his jawline. Which he still firmly believes. 

It’s then that he notices the song playing. “Lady Gaga? You never listen to her. I mean, we love her, but I thought Britney was the queen. I mean, besides Beyoncé…. The gay queen.” After a brief pause, Demyx huffs “Wait, that’s Freddy. Sorta. He’s the bi… “Queen”, literally... There’s also David Bowie...” 

Zexion’s heartbeat quickens. The song fades out and as soon as he hears the beginning of guitar strumming, he pauses it. Right, it was this playlist for a reason… 

His finger hovered over the play button. He **could** play it...but the first half might go over Demyx’s head. The whole song might. Would it be confusing just to let it play? 

“Hey, Zex? You okay there?” Demyx says, his doughnut already half eaten. “You wanted to tell me something, right? That’s why you invited me over so late? Well, at least for you, Mr. Asleep By Ten.” 

He grins, his stupidly perfect toothy smile staring him in the face. Zexion’s tongue presses against his Invisalign tray (retainer) self-consciously. Though, his teeth were whiter, only drinking tea occasionally while Demyx’s teeth were more yellow due to his coffee habit and lack of desire to get teeth cleanings that often. 

Which made sense; Demyx hated dentists, even long before having braces in middle school. Still, _he_ wasn’t self-conscious about smiling. So, Zexion considered it perfect; though he knew technically it wasn’t, nothing was. 

He rolls his eyes “I feel like you’re coming for me.” He didn’t see the appeal of staying up late and sleeping in late, it wasn’t healthy. “I’ll come for you if you want me to.” Demyx says, winking with a little head tilt and licking the chocolate glaze. 

It takes him a moment to register his meaning, but when he gets it he curls a bit into himself. “You’ve done that a _few_ times, hmm?” He inquires, knowing only what he’s experienced firsthand and what Demyx has informed him of. 

Suddenly, he looks thoughtful…maybe concerned? “Sure have...but you know I’m not mad that you have a great sleeping schedule. It kinda sucks having to say goodnight so early, but you’ve picked up when I’ve needed you before. I know you’ve got my back...so, I have yours…” Something was up. He knew that when Zexion invited him over at 11pm, but he was almost less weird in person than over text. Like he was trying to cover it up, or something. 

He wanted him to tell the truth, even if it wasn’t tonight. It should be on his terms. “You don’t have to tell me right now if you don’t wanna, I’m always down to just chill. Grab a doughnut, I got them for us. Vexen or Mari can have some if they want to. Join me, I need to sit.”

With no problem at all, Demyx lowers himself down and sits on the floor in crisscross fashion. He toes off his shoes, putting them near the door before taking another bite of the donut. Working at the grocery store was hell, having to stand all day. On top of dealing with customers, ugh. 

It was a habit at this point for them to eat or hanging out on the floor without Vexen bugging them. They’ve had a few make out and grinding sessions too, though not many, straddling or pushing/holding the other down. It was all fun though: giggling when their teeth clacked, when their noses or foreheads hit painfully. They haven’t gone much farther, Zexion not allowing Demyx to do anything more than sit on his bed or take anything more than his shirt off one time.

They’ve been dating for a year now...Demyx must’ve been curious about it. Why it might’ve seemed like he was...holding out?

Which was why he invited him over, what he needs to tell him. Something that he’s known about for a while, a bit after discovering the LGBTQ+.

Grabbing a napkin and a maple doughnut, he sits on the floor across from him. His boyfriend’s lips curl up in a half-smile, his free (clean) hand reaching out and resting on top of his. 

He internally sighs while taking a bite. Communication was important for a relationship, he knew that. He knew he had to tell him in person, not over text or something similar to it. “A Marimo moss ball can’t have doughnuts.” The impact of sweetness on his taste buds was a good distraction for now. 

“Not with that attitude they can’t.” Demyx replies before shoving the rest of the doughnut in his mouth. He barely chews and swallows it before he leans up and pulls the box slightly toward the edge. Moving his hand around, he manages to grab the New York cheesecake doughnut without having to get up and look in the box. “Do you think you’ll be a strict parent? I mean, you’re healthy, but you’re not insane about it...like needing everything to be organic, or something. But are you going to keep snacks and stuff like that to a minimum? Or no McDonald’s ever?”

Zexion doesn’t have to think hard about the topic. “If I do become a parent, then I’ll teach them the value of moderation and the willingness to try new foods. Try new things in general, even. I expect to take them to McDonald’s at least...hmm, I’ll say five times in their life, or lives. Though that’s mostly due to consumerism and our how advertisements affect us, especially mentally developing children. Or, even as a teenager; I may have to take them if they’re meeting their friends there. At times, it’s simply easier and more convenient.”

Though he wasn’t big on fast food in general, he knew he didn’t want his children to eat absolute trash fast food. The fast food that makes the person question that they’re ‘clogging their arteries for **this**?’ “If had the choice though, I’d take them to In N Out.” 

“If you had the choice? You sound like such a Californian! In N Out is good but McDonald’s fries are way better. They also revamped the chicken nugget recipe, so they’re tastier now. But...their shakes still suck, which I _guess_ qualifies them to be known as the most trash of fast food. But hey, it’s cheap, which is good for the less fortunate or people with too many mouths to feed.” 

He clicks his tongue. “We were born, raised and live in California, Demyx. Of course, I sound like one. You’re the one who drinks Starbucks and is the most like the ‘Valley Girl’ stereotype in our friend group. Anyways, I don’t disagree, but McDonald’s fries are frozen and refried while In N Out fries are fresh. McDonald’s fries only taste better because they’re not vegan, being made with milk and having meat flavoring.” 

Taking his Invisalign out, cringing at the strings of saliva falling as he sets them in their case, he wipes his mouth and hands. Folding the napkin and picking up the doughnut, he takes a bite. His eyes snap to Demyx’s clean hand (that’s managed to stay on his the whole time) now rubbing circles against it. It was a small gesture and it was nice. “I’ll take your word for it on the nuggets, but their shakes suck because they don’t use ice cream. It’s less calories than, say, Jack in The Box’s milkshakes because they use real ice cream instead of ice milk.” 

Demyx chooses that moment to half-intertwine their fingers, his hand resting on top now slipping in between the spaces and filling them up. “You’re so smart, babe.” Demyx says playfully. 

It was almost embarrassing how much bigger his hand was in comparison, though definitely not as big as Axel’s. Demyx’s hands were calloused from playing guitar every day, it was something he wasn’t lazy about. Says he doesn't want to get rusty. Zexion highly doubted it was possible for him to, but he was happy he had the passion. Even if he always had to worry about Demyx standing outside his window and serenading him, like he did that one time. 

Demyx was...incredible. He has a lot of flaws, some flaws like his laziness and lack of organization was very challenging for Zexion to get passed. Their first introduction wasn’t great, and he still had a lot of those bad habits (though he finally broke his nail biting after he started painting them). But for all that time he simply ‘put up’ with him and tolerated him, despite everything he disliked, it’s been a few years of actually liking him and appreciating his company. He wondered if it was the same experience for him, with his flaws. He takes a deep breath.

“I think I might be on the ace spectrum.” 

...he said it. Staring at him to gauge his reaction, Demyx only blinks a few times with his mouth slightly open, as if he was going to say something. He closes it; his face unreadable. He didn’t seem mad or disgusted, at least. Some people get killed over things like this. 

“Ace like...asexual? Spectrum?” That sounds...kind of promising? Zexion hopes. “Yes, the asexuality spectrum. What I mean is that I’m not completely asexual, I don’t feel that that identity fits me.”

“So… I haven’t been forcing you to do anything you didn’t want to do, right?” That’s his first concern? God, what did he do it get so lucky? 

“Not at all. While I find provocative texting and the like less fun than you do, I haven’t been going along with everything so far just to appease you. Speaking up, either for or against something, is important to make sure we’re both comfortable and can make the experience as pleasurable as they can be.” He explains, Demyx letting out a big sigh before smiling. 

“You had me worried there. Well, I’ve been worried since I got the text of ‘I need to discuss something with you.’ Lemme tell ya, I almost got lost driving over here; I had to merge into traffic to get out of the left turn lane onto the freeway, I almost died.”

He raises an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Like the time you were in a right turn only lane and you went straight and almost crashed into a parked car, and didn’t look in your side mirrors at all while merging back?” 

“Heh...sorta. It wasn’t as bad as that though, I actually looked. And I was absolutely clear to merge this time...Anyways, go on. Where are you on the spectrum? Is there a label you like, any hard ‘no’s?”

Zexion licks his lips, taking a small bite of the doughnut to organize his thoughts before swallowing and wiping his mouth with a napkin. Demyx grabs the glazed raspberry filled doughnut, setting it down on a napkin and slides it over to him. He didn’t even realize he was almost finished with this one. Nodding a thanks to him, Demyx continues eating his with no concern over the crumbles in the corners of his mouth and the ones falling on his jeans. 

“In regard to hard nos...to be frank, I’ve thought about having sex with you. I’d be okay with doing it, but I’d rather we take some time to work up to there. I’ve got a lower libido, masturbating sometimes and letting it soften naturally other times. I don’t really need it, I could live without it, but I don’t...mind doing it? My apologies if this is confusing, I don’t particularly know how to word this...but, overall...I’ve decided I’m grey-ace. Somewhere in the middle. I briefly considered demisexual, meaning I need a close bond with the person before being sexual with them, which is true; however, I’ve decided against it due to the complications with your name. It wasn’t a pun, spelled d-e-m-i and not d-e-m-y, and I figured it was hard to take seriously in this instance.” 

He felt bad that this was so complicated, knowing it was different for everyone and that it was a lot to take in for anyone. Themselves and their partner, unless they date someone with the same identity (even if it was slightly different, it was usually easier to understand if the other was well researched about it). “Basically, my mood might not match the moment.” He supposed that was pretty normal for anyone, so he wasn’t too worried about them navigating it.

“Hmm...that makes sense. Well, I’m really glad you told me. It’s a part of you...I guess we can just continue like we always do? Ask along the way, or maybe do the color system?” “Green, yellow, red? Like a safe word during BDSM?” Demyx rolls his eyes “You’re not supposed to know about that, way too spicy for you. But yes, like a safe word. Does that work?” Zexion feels himself smile, with no real effort to. “Sounds good to me.”

Demyx lets out a breath, wiping his hands on a clean napkin. “Good. While we’re on the topic, I’m not against degradation. But, that’s a conversation for another day.” Wait, what? Zexion eyes his boyfriend who gets up, stretching his arms over his head with a groan and cracking his knuckles. “We really should’ve gotten some milk before we ate any, I don’t know how I forgot. My throat is so dry. Ugh.” With that, Zexion watches him open the door and go downstairs.

That was productive, to say the least. He didn’t doubt that Demyx was going to take it well, even if it took time, but he couldn’t help being a bit apprehensive. This was why he tried not to worry (a fairly impossible task with anxiety) because it didn’t do him any good. It kept him from moving forward. 

Getting up on his knees, wiping his hands clean, he picks up his phone and presses play on the song. Listening to his anthem calms him, knowing that it was significant. It wasn’t just some song. Was it the best? Nah. Did it represent him completely? Definitely not. But it’s been empowering for five years now. That had to mean _something_.

Sitting back down right as Demyx comes in, his boyfriend flashes a smile at him. And he can’t help but do so back. 


End file.
